Ladies' Man
by Miss.PJO
Summary: Percy always rejected the fact that he was fawned over by women. He was bluffing. One-shot. I own a goldfish (it's actually dead now), not Percy Jackson. Rated T for slight swearing.


**No percabeth in this one-shot. Wow, I really hate percabeth... A lot.**

**Annabeth: Do you own Percy Jackson or Heroes of Olympus?**

**Me: ...**

**Annabeth: ...? Do you?**

**Me: *punches Annabeth in the face* What do you think?! Are you trying to lower my self esteem?**

**Annabeth: I don't know?...**

**Me: *throws Annabeth into Tartarus, without percy* YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I - {insert... very c_olourful_ language here} - HEY, GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE WITH PERCY IN MY STORIES, INCLUDING THIS ONE!**

**Leo: Okay, okay! Ladies! Calm! We're all going to go read the story like civilised people, Okay?**

Everyone gathered in the throne room of Olympus. Romans and Greeks alike had come, but not all of them, obviously.

Jason was holding hands with Piper while talking to Leo. Frank and Hazel were having a very cute moment, as Frank had an arm around her while she snuggled into his chest.

I spotted Thalia in her hunters' outfit and wandered over. "Pinecone Face." I greeted. "Kelp Head." She retorted. "You know, my nickname is way better than your's." I said, knowing I would get a reaction. Thalia snorted. "My foot. I remember when you came up with my name. It's pathetic, and so unoriginal."

I scoffed. "Unoriginal? Says you. Everyone uses the son-of-Poseidon thing to nickname me." Thalia raised an eyebrow. "Well would you prefer something like 'Ladies' Man'?" "W-w-what?" I spluttered. "You heard me." "I'm not a ladies' man." I said firmly. She scoffed. "Could've fooled me." "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I can list some people that do or used to like you." "Y-yeah? Well who?" I said, not liking this topic of conversation. Thalia searched the room with thunderous eyes and then smirked. _Uh oh._

"Well.. Let's see. Oh! Let's start with those people over there. Hmm, Reyna, Nico. _Definetly_ Annabeth. The nymphs giggle and wave whenever they see you. Don't even get me _started_ on naiads. And... Correct me if I'm wrong, but, I'm pretty certain Aphrodite doesn't usually look at people like that."

I turned around and spotted the love goddess, who was staring right at me. She blew a kiss and winked. I gulped and turned around.

Annabeth kept waving and smiling, which I found quite annoying. We used to be the best of friends, but then she fell in love with me. I knew, because Thalia told me. Annabeth became really desperate for a relationship, so I started avoiding her. Now this had started. **(Ha. Sucked in, Annabeth)**

Reyna was talking to Nico. The two had bonded over their journey with the Athena statue. I had a feeling that they had spilled some secrets to one another. Eh, I doubted they were on the list.

Thalia was right about the nymphs, who were pointing and waving from a distance. The naiads were nowhere to in sight. I wasn't sure if that relaxed me or worried me.

A wreath of leaves was placed in my head from behind. _Crap, Annabeth again?_ I turned around to come face-to-face with a naiad. She giggled and kissed my cheek. Then she turned into droplets of water, returning to her river.

I turned around to a slightly laughing Thalia. "I'm surprised you're single." "Oh, shut up." I sighed in defeat, taking off my new wreath and placing it on a table.

Everyone turned as Zeus called us to attention. "Apollo has something to say." He announced. Thalia sighed. "Gods have mercy on us." She muttered under her breath. I smirked at her. "I thought you liked Apollo. After all, you _did_ say he was hot." Thalia widened her eyes. "No I didn't! I don't know what you're talking about." "I recall your exact words were-"

I was cut off by Apollo flashing a blinding grin. "Hey everyone! Do you like the party so far?" Cheers erupted. "Well there's a huge thing coming right now! It's gonna be completely awesome!" "What is it, Apollo?" Artemis snapped, annoyed. "Calm, sis." "Don't call me that!"

"Well what is it?" Athena asked. Apollo looked like he was on a sugar rush, considering how excited he seemed. "Well I've issued a fun challenge." "Elaborate." "You have to do it though." "Okay, we'll do it." Murmers of agreement came from the remaining Olympians.

"Each Olympian has to pick a demigod of choice. Then they have to dance with them for a whole song." He said, slightly laughing. Chaos erupted. "WHAT?" Artemis screeched. "There is know way I am dancing with a _male_!" Apollo came over to his raging twin and whispered something in her ear. Artemis calmed down after, but she still looked pissed.

Aphrodite looked like she had gotten a pet hamster for Christmas that she couldn't wait to dress up. She smirked at me, and I wiped a bead of sweat off my forehead. Thalia nudged me. "You're so screwed." She whispered.

"Arty and Hera are picking first. Because of the whole man-hating and marriage thing." Apollo explained. Aphrodite pouted at that.

Artemis glared at Apollo before facing the crowd. "I guess I will have to choose someone who has earned my respect." _And someone who doesn't value their life,_ I thought. "Someone that hasn't disrespected me or my hunters." She continued, her silver eyes looking grim.

I was glad she wouldn't pick me. The only encounter I'd had with her was the whole taking-the-sky-thing. Wait..

Shit.

Artemis had called me a _man_ back then.

She only called guys 'boys', unless..

My eyes widened. "You are so not going to live today." Thalia commented quietly to me. I silently agreed with her. Artemis' eyes found mine, and she sighed. "I guess.. I'll dance with..." She sighed again. "I guess I'll dance with Perseus Jackson." She murmured.

Apollo sent me a look of pure pity. Looking very depressed, Artemis gracefully slid off her throne and slowly walked over to where I was standing, currently almost shitting myself. "B-but I can't dance." I stuttered out, trying to get myself out of this. Artemis' gaze softened slightly. Aphrodite's didn't, however, as the goddess of beauty glared at the Huntress' back.

"Olympians, wait next to your dance partners until everyone has picked." Apollo said. Artemis turned herself to the age of 18, my age. Thalia quietly snickered.

"I'll choose Jason Grace." Hera said, shrinking to 17 and flashing next to him. Thalia and Piper glared at her. Jason's eyes were wide. _At least he doesn't have to carry her as a hippie bag lady,_ I pondered. _Lucky him._

"Okay, Aphrodite?" Apollo asked, but I'm pretty sure he already knew her answer. "I want to dance with Percy." She said. "Artemis has already chosen him." Apollo said. "Well why can't we let _him_ choose?" Aphrodite suggested, and then turned to me. "Who would _you_ want to dance with, Percy? Me, or Artemis?"

_The fates hate me,_ I mentally decided. I looked over from Artemis to Aphrodite.

_Well I don't want to be maimed by hunters, but I don't want to be raped either.._

"Uh umm.. Well who does it most benefit?" I asked. Aphrodite looked ready to talk, but Apollo cut in. "Aphrodite, how about Artemis can dance with Percy first for a song, and then you can dance with him next?" "Oooooooh, Yes!" She shrieked.

"Okay, Ares?"

* * *

_She's going to kill me._ I kept repeating the mantra in my mind as Artemis grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the dancefloor.

"I wasn't joking when I said I couldn't dance." I told her. "Well neither can I." Artemis replied. "Really?" "I've never danced before." "Oh.. I guess that makes sense."

We found an empty spot and Artemis turned to me. "Well let's get this over and done with." She put a hand on my shoulder and grasped my hand. I silently gulped. Artemis rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to kill you, Perseus."

_But you will hurt me, alot,_ I thought.

Wanting to keep my hand, I placed it on her lower back instead of her hip. Apollo grinned from up on the stage. I really hoped he wouldn't make a scorpion chase me to my death, like Orion.

I found it really unfair that he didn't have to dance, considering he was the one who caused everyone this misery.

Apollo started the song.

I felt pretty sorry for the daughter of Bellona that Ares, or now Mars, was dancing with. She was biting her lip as the War God held her waist with meaty hands.

Hephaestus had somehow convinced Apollo to let him dance with an automation. The fact that Apollo was strumming a strange looking instrument made out of metal and wires helped me guess how he did it.

At least Hermes was being a gentleman. He gently grabbed his partner's waist and smiled kindly at her. She returned the expression.

Aphrodite was standing to the side applying makeup as she waited for the song to end. Another moment I was dreading: Dancing with _another_ Goddess.

Artemis and I starting stepping to the rhythm of the slow music. I noticed the hunters glaring at me, even though it was _none_ of my fault I was dancing with their mistress.

Artemis was sending a look to Apollo that promised death. He just simply grinned back in response, and I didn't look forward to the moment that someone would have to restrain Artemis from wiping it off his face.

_Well this is a first_, I thought glumly. _I'm dancing with a goddess. A _man-hating_ goddess._

I avoided making eye contact with Artemis, as she did too. I'm pretty sure she was cursing her twin under her breath, but I could've been wrong.

Eventually the song ended, and I released my hands from Artemis. She removed her grip on my shoulder, and I apologised again for my crappy dancing and the fact that she actually had to dance with me. She nodded in response and walked away.

Thirsty, I arrived at the punch bowl and grabbed the pouring spoon and cup. Thalia came to my side, laughing. "Have fun?" She teased, poking me in the ribs. "Yeah," I muttered sarcastically. "So much fun." I took a long gulp from my cup, emptying it.

She nudged me. "Well it looks like your not done yet." I looked over to see Aphrodite strolling over. "You've got to be shitting me." I said, taking another drink of punch.

Aphrodite grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. She laced her fingers around my neck and I put my hands on her waist. She was _way_ too close for comfort in my opinion, but it was impossible to distance myself.

I was starting to hate Apollo's grin.

* * *

With a slightly torn shirt I walked back to Thalia. She looked at me in suprise. "You escaped?" She asked. "Only just." I replied. She smirked.

"Ladies' Man."


End file.
